Lost In SVM
by IlieseCade
Summary: A "what if I was transported into SVM" story. Linsey, wakes up to find herself staring directly at 2 characters from one of her favorite novel series'. How did she get there? but more importantly, what will change now that she is? R&R please n thank you. Rating changed to M for language and future lemons
1. Chapter 1

If you recognize the characters, I don't own em….

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><p>This is a Lost in Austen-esque approach to The Sookie Stackhouse Series. A "what if I was transported into the books" story, if you will. I will be going by the story line of the books mostly, although I might mix in some True Blood plot too. The reason for that being, it's been awhile since I've read the books and I just recently re-watched all of True Blood, so I may get confused. Just covering my bases :) Also, all the characters are seen as the actors and actresses cast in True Blood (HELLLLOOO Alexander Skarsgard!) but in this, True Blood doesn't exist. So, the character Linsey sees Eric and he looks like Alexander Skarsgard, but she doesn't know who ASKARS is because True Blood was never created. Make sense? Doesn't matter, just read the damn thing lol :)<p>

(this is not a Sookie/Eric story… this is a self fulfilling fantasy story)

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><p>I knew straight away something wasn't right. I felt like an elephant was simultaneously sitting on my chest and dancing in my head like some Heffalumps and Woozles nightmare. Something cold and wet was being laid on my forehead and I sighed in relief as the mounting pressure in my head began to alleviate.<p>

"I think she's coming to!" I heard a woman say in a thick southern accent.

"Arlene, go and get a glass of water!" said a man.

I was still having difficultly breathing and my trachea burned with every intake of air. But, I regulated it enough to finally feel comfortable with opening my eyes. As things came into focus, I couldn't believe what I was seeing and quickly shut my eyes again.

_This can't be. I'm hallucinating, or I'm crazy, or I'm dead_

"Did she pass out again, Sam? She's paler than she was a minute ago…" she said.

"I dunno, Sook… Where is Arlene with that water?"

"I'll go and see" I heard her say, followed by the sound of the gravel crunching as she ran towards the building.

_O my god! O my god! Arlene? Sam? ! SOOKIE FUCKING STACKHOUSE? !_

_I must be dreaming… maybe I was in an accident and I'm really lying on some hospital bed in a coma! That has to be it!_

_I knew I read those books too many damn times! Now they've engrained themselves into my psyche._

With a self diagnosed explanation, I decided that the best course of action would be to play along in my dream world and wait to wake up in reality.

I reopened my eyes and saw a lean man with shaggy strawberry blond hair leaning over me, putting a freshly wetted towel on my head. Sam Merlotte. He was exactly as I always envisioned him.

_Well probably because it's your own damn imagination, idiot_

Sookie Stackhouse, in her white Merlotte's shirt and black shorts, came running over with a glass of water, blond pony tail bouncing along with her steps. It was beyond insane to see these fictional characters actually standing before me… well, I guess above me. Which made me realize that I was still lying down in the dirt parking lot of Merlotte's Bar and Grille.

I pushed myself up into a seated position and Sookie handed me the glass. As soon as the water hit my lips, I discovered how badly I needed it. I gulped it down and felt 10x better immediately.

With my thirst sated, I looked at them awkwardly because they were both staring at me so intently.

"Thank you." I said with a blush and a small embarrassed smile.

"Are you feeling any better?" Sookie asked, both her and Sam looking sincerely concerned.

"Much. Thank you, really, the cold compress and water helped a lot." I replied while attempting to stand up. I swayed slightly once on my feet and Sam quickly grabbed onto my arm to help steady me. I smiled at him in thanks.

"I'm Sam, this here is Sookie. She's the one that found you laying out here."

I shook both of their hands "Hi, I'm Linsey."

_I already know who you are! God, this is so weird! !_

I noticed Sookie gave me an odd look when I grabbed her hand but ignored it.

"How'd you end up out here?" she asked curiously, but before I could try to come up with an answer, Sam interrupted.

_My savior!_

"Let's get you something to eat, and we can talk inside."

I looked around the ground for my purse. But found nothing, just my luck.

_Of course, left stranded in a book world with no money, no form of identification, or anything but the clothes on my back._

_My subconscious must really hate me._

I sullenly looked at Sam "I don't think I have any money…"

He nodded in understanding "Don't worry about it, chere" he said with a smile and lead the way inside.

_Maybe this won't be so bad afterall..._

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><p>AN:

Very short, I know. I literally just wrote this. I'll be posting another chapter tonight, more than likely. Please R & R because I'm a needy ass writer

Snuggies and huggies to all that read this :)


	2. Chapter 2

Hi, me again! read, review, read, don't review. do whatever your heart desires

you know it, I don't own it

hope you like it

still working on the story

what else...

also, all mistakes are my own, I'm constantly re-reading my chapters so I will fix em if I see em :)

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><p>We walked into Merlotte's and the head's of the few country folk that were in there, snapped to look at us. Well, me, in particular.<p>

_Well this is uncomfortable seems that instead of getting the unconscious stranger a glass of water, Arlene was busy running her mouth._

I could hear the poorly hushed voices coming up with elaborate theories as to who I was and why I was there. Varying from Hot Shots runaway to undercover agent to homeless "V" addict looking for a handout.

_Gotta love small towns... and the morons that you find within them._

Sam ushered me over to a booth towards the back of the bar, undoubtedly noticing the stares I was receiving and living up to his character by trying to make me comfortable and being so kind.

"Take a look at the menu and order anything you want, I'll be right back." He said, then disappeared to the back, to his office I presumed.

I peeked at the menu, but soon decided on Burger Lafayette with fries and gave my order to Sookie when she stopped by. It always sounded good when I read about it, so why not?

With that out of the way, I took in the atmosphere of the famous, in my book (lol), Merlotte's. It was rather small but definitely had a "good ol' bar" rustic feel to it. The other customers were as you'd expect in a small country town. They were certainly chatty, and I was certainly a topic of interest.

While waiting for my food, and Sam, I made up a little game where I would try to guess who was who from the books. Obviously, the heavily teased red hair, and over made-up face of Arlene Fowler was running around. Off in the left hand corner of the bar, across from where I as seated, was a balding, heavy set man. Donning a white short sleeve, button up shirt, tie, and khaki pants, the tin star badge pinned on his pen holder pocket made him a dead give away. Detective Andy Bellefleur, pudgy, middle aged grump of a man. I could overhear him complaining to a woman about how he hopes I cause trouble because he's been dying for some action. I rolled my eyes at his statement. She was definitely his sister, Portia. She looked like just like him but with hair. Very unfortunate for her.

At the bar was Jane Bodehouse. I could tell because the clock above the bar said it was 2 in the afternoon and she was already trashed. I bet when Merlotte's closes, they'll have to call her son to pick her up, as they always said they did in the books.

A good looking, twenty something, guy walked into the bar with a few of his friends. Average height, blond, tan, built like a sturdy house a Stackhouse. Jason Stackhouse! Well, hello, sir! That means the tall goofy fella trailing along behind him is sweet ol' Hoyt Fortenberry! And the short, semi attractive, brunette is Rene Lenier! Holy shit!

_I'm right at the beginning! That means he's going to murder people. He's already murdered his sister Ugh, if I'm still here, should I do something? What could I do?_

_The police would think I'm crazy..._

Luckily Sam appeared just then, carrying a deliciously greasy burger, fries, and a soda.

Not that I needed the extra calories, but sometimes grease makes the feelings go away.

Just the distraction I needed. No way did I want to jump right into solving yet to be committed murders and a fictional realm.

Sam sat down across from me and patiently waited while I drank my soda and ate a little of the burger and fries. Lafayette certainly knew how to make a burger.

_He's gunna die too..._

That thought brought me out of a peaceful state real quick. Sam took my sudden lack of appetite as and opening for question time.

"Linsey, do you know how you got here?"

_Honestly, I didn't. I tried to think back, tried to remember what I was doing prior to this SVM state of mind..._

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><p><em>I remember getting ready for bed. What did I do before that?<em>

_I took my nephew to the fair! Of course, while he was running around with his munchkin friends, I was sitting, reading (technically re-reading) The Sookie Stackhouse series. As I'm wont to do._

_"Aunt Linsey! We're going to go ride the big roller coaster over there!"_

_It wasn't that big really, but he's 10, so..._

_Anyway, I followed them to that side of the park and waited on a bench near the exit of the ride. While, again, reading, an old woman sat next to me._

_Now that I think about it, she was pretty much the epitome of a crotchety witch character_

_"You will begin a great journey soon, young girl." the creepy lady said._

_I looked at her like the crazy she was._

_"I may be mad, but that doesn't make what I say any less true." she replied with a smirk, as if she read my mind._

_Curiosity got the best of me, as it often does "Where will I be traveling to?"_

_With a knowing look she said "You'll see" and walked away._

_Well, that was pointless..._

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><p><em>I clearly couldn't tell Sam that story. Even though he's a Supe and knows witches are real, I'm not even certain she was a witch and that any of this is real... color me confused!<em>

After what was too long of a pause, I responded "I don't know, Sam."

_Best you could come up with? Clever girl :::sarcasm:::_

The look on Sam's face proved he didn't buy it either but, thankfully, he let it go.

"Do you remember anything? Are you from around here? Do you have some place to stay?"

I kind of wanted to tell him the truth. I knew he was trustworthy. If he was exactly like Sam from the books, he had to be. But I chickened out.

I looked down at my clasped heads and shook my head, effectively answering all of his questions.

Sam sighed, in a frustrated yet sympathetic manner.

"I'll see what I can do to help."

"Thanks, Sam" I said offering a smile that meant both sorry for lying to you and thank you.

As soon as Sam went back to his office, Sookie came over to check up on me.

"Hey Linsey, mind if I sit?" she said as she sat down.

"Not at all" I answered, even though it wasn't necessary.

_I've been so wrapped up in my head, I almost completely forgot she was a telepath! I wonder if she's read my mind_

_Well, my thinking about her being a telepath didn't seem to phase her at all. I would assume that if she heard that she would be shocked that I would know._

We sat in silence for a moment. I think she was attempting to get in my head, or maybe she was just resting her feet. I tested my theory of her not being able to read my thoughts by thinking about how I think I actually got there.

_No reaction. Hmmm, wonder what happens if I think directly at her. They mentioned that in the books, but how do you do that?_

_Sookie..._

_Sooookie, can you heeear me? (in a sing-song voice)_

_This isn't working..._

_Soooookie! I am your faaather (in a horrible mental darth vadar voice)_

With my last thought she shot straight out of her seat, and, at first, just stood there.

"I'm sorry, are you ok? I'm sorry, I'm sorry" I started to panic, she's was staring at me with giant-wide eyes, then she ran back to Sam's office.

_Shit!_

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><p>I know I said read, don't review if you don't want to... but I changed my mind. please do review lol (I told you I was needy)<p>

huggies and snuggies ya'll!


	3. Chapter 3

*if you read this chapter all ready today, I have just added a 2nd part at the end.

*I also cuss a lot. so, sorry if I offend your sensibilities

*also, sorry for all the updates today lol. I might be putting up another chappy tonight too.

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><p>hello. here's another chapter. Kind of short, I'm trying to make them longer.<p>

If I don't, then, hopefully, I'll just update more often.

A quick thank you to 1SouthernBelle, Leila, and Listen Lovely for reading and reviewing! :D

And to Sookie-Eric for the alert and favoriting! :D

again, you know em, i don't own em

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><p>I sat in a stunned silence for a moment. Everyone in the bar was wondering what "Crazy Stranger" said to upset "Crazy Sookie."<p>

I should have known better than to try to get Sookie to hear my thoughts.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid! Damn my curiosity! How the hell am I going to explain this?_

I calmly walked to the back of the bar to avoid anymore speculation from the peanut gallery. In the small hallway, there were 3 doors to choose from. Sam's office was easy to spot, seeing how his was the only one not marked with the universal men's or women's bathroom sign.

I heard Sookie frantically talking to Sam and Sam trying to get her to calm down. Eavesdropping would have been helpful, but she was talking too fast for me to hear properly through the door.

_Time to suck it up and see what happens…_

I knocked on the door and all talking within the room abruptly stopped.

Sam opened the door, the look on his face was vastly different than the one I saw only minutes before.

"Hey Sam, can I…"

I didn't get to finish my sentence because he all but threw me into the room.

_Ow! Are you supposed to feel pain in a dream world? Mark another tally under the list of reasons why this actually might be happening. Like an alternate universe…_

"Who are you? ! Who sent you here? !" he said angrily, clenching his fists at his side.

_Uh oh…_

"Those fuckin' vamps sent you, huh? Well, you aren't taking Sookie. I won't let you!" Sam was practically growling and standing in a threatening stance.

_Omg! How did I completely forget vampires were real in the books! Well, that's exciting! That means Eric Northman…_

_Not the time, Linsey. Fan-girl later…_

At this point Sookie stepped in front of Sam, not caring that he looked like he was about to shift into a lion and maul me to death.

_Oooo right, she doesn't know he's a shifter yet_

"How'd you know about me? !" she said while angrily pointing to her head "I saw all the things you planned on having done to me! The vampire I'm supposed to save, me getting brutally beaten by the Rattrays!"

_Well, that explains her freaking out. They think I was sent here, part of mission: abduct Sookie. And here I thought it was my bad Star Wars joke…_

"Sam, Sookie, let me explain."

Both he and Sookie remained in a silent fury waiting for me to continue.

_Alright, I their attention… now what?_

_I have to think of what to say!_

I paused for a moment, trying to get my thoughts together.

_I seems that Sookie can only get into my head when I let her… I don't know how I did that, but I'll figure that out later, if I have to. Okay, what else… I know everything of importance that will happen to Sookie and most of the people around her… I got it!_

"I'm psychic!" I shouted, a little too excited about my "off the top of my head" lie.

_It's kind of true. I do know what happens throughout books 1-11. …But since all of the books are only through Sookie's viewpoint, I only know what she knows in the books… So, I'll just be a really shitty psychic._

_And an even shittier psychic if I decide to change things, because then I won't know what's going to happen at all… shit…_

"A psychic?" Sookie said disbelievingly.

They both stood there, absorbing the information that I, the new Miss Cleo* of Bon Temps, just supplied them.

Speaking to Sookie, Sam asked "What do you think, Sook? Could explain why you couldn't read her. Maybe she has some sort of mental barrier? Can you hear her now?"

Sookie closed her eye in concentration, then shook her head a moment later.

_That's a relief_

I nodded emphatically, "Honestly, that make's sense to me. I've never met a telepath before. I'm just as confused as you are. I don't know how I ended up here. I think maybe… once I arrived, I was overloaded by uh… visions! Of what's supposed to happen in your life, Sookie. That must've been why I passed out…" sure I was babbling, but it was working "and why I don't remember anything, at all, prior to being here" I added slyly.

"I only saw a few clips from your mind once it opened up… what else do you know?" she asked skeptically.

Sam looked interested now.

_Probably hoping I saw a Sookie and Sam happily ever after_

_Sorry to disappoint there. But maybe that's one thing I could change…_

"I don't think now's a good time to discuss that. I know a lot about what's SUPPOSED to happen. But, if I tell you now, all that could change… and we'd both be clueless."

They were looking like they were back on my side so I kept talking to try to have them understand my situation.

"I wasn't going to let B…"

_Better not mention Compton, yet_

"that vampire or the Rattrays get to you, I promise. I just didn't know how to bring it up without sounding crazy. I've never been in this kind of situation before! I'm completely out of my element here…" I ended sounding a little more desperate than I liked.

"I can understand that" Sookie said wearily.

I was feeling pretty weary myself. Sure, I had just woken up from a blackout state only an hour or so ago. But, it's not like it was a peaceful sleep or anything.

Sookie looked to Sam, conveying a look as if asking "should we trust her?"

Sam looked to me, then back to Sookie, and nodded.

I sighed in relief. I definitely needed their help if I was going to be stuck here much longer.

An awkward silence followed. Now that the excitement and drama subsided somewhat, none of us knew where to go from there. I was pushing my luck, but I had to ask:

"I… I kind of need someplace to stay…?"

My question hung in the air and started to go stale. I stared down at my shoes, feeling completely hopeless.

"There's an extra room at my gran's," Sookie said reluctantly "you can stay tonight and we'll see what to do from there."

"Sook, she shouldn't stay with you. What if she's lying?" Sam said eyeing me down.

"She's got no where else to go and Gran raised me better than that…  
>And if she's lying, then I get to use my gran's shotgun…" she added as a warning.<p>

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><p>I was back to sitting at the booth in the back. Sookie had to work a double shift. Sam said she could take the night off, but she refused to leave him without a waitress. As her character often does. Sookie and Sam kept an eye on me throughout the night and stopped by to chat. We were surprising getting along well, considering the earlier mix-up and Sookie didn't as upset about me staying at her house.<p>

I had never thanked someone so much in my life. Sookie was actually near begging me to stop. So, I then redirected my "thank yous" to Sam. I didn't really realize how fucked I would've been if they had kicked me out until they said they'd help me.

_I guess I could've played Mrs. Fortenberry's Christian heart strings and bribe her with an exclusive gossipy-bullshit interview with yours truly. Otherwise, I would have been out on the streets.. Where there are fuckin' vampires! Werewolves! Witches! and everything else! What the hell? !_

_How the hell am I only just know comprehending the seriousness of all this! There are vampires! VAMPIRES! That is terrifying! (If not, a little bit exciting)._

_THIS IS INSANE! I AM IN A FUCKING BOOK RIGHT NOW!_

I looked around the bar to reaffirm that I was, indeed, in a fucking book…

...and it was dark outside…

_O god! I am freakin' out!_

_I need to breathe…_

Just then, a short, dark haired man came in… Bill fucking Compton…

I looked to Sookie and our eyes might. I'm sure I looked as crazy as she did in that moment.

_Fuckin hell! Are you serious, right now? !_  
><em>What is my life? ! ? !<em>

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><p>review<p>

*Miss Cleo was a shamster psychic from the 90's. She did infomercial type fortune telling, talking in a Jamaican accent, when she was actually from L.A.


	4. Chapter 4

_*in case you didn't know, I added an extra lil bit to the last chapter_

Ello Ello!

Thanks to those who are reading :)

a special thanks to jtedrick1, alispark, leila, 1southernbelle, sookie-eric, ambs-v, and listen lovely for reading, reviewing, alerting and favoriting :)

you are all my new favorite people!

I hope this chapter is good. It's definitly longer than the others

without further ado...

(don't own blah blah)

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><p><em>Murphy's fuckin' law, or what? I'd say "what else could go wrong?" if it wasn't so horribly cliché and would most likely Jinx the situation.<em>

The Rattray's had arrived about an hour ago and sat in the booth in front of me. I had the pleasure of being man handled and eye molested by Mack Rattray, which was followed by Denise Rattray's hate filled glare, and my intense struggle to suppress the vomit that had risen in my throat. Even looking at them could make a person nauseous. Mack's greasy, wiry hair came down to his boney shoulders and he was wearing a camouflage t-shirt with cut-off white washed jeans. He was a mess. Denise had the potential to be pretty, but the inane amount of make-up she had on her face, and the clothes (or lack there of) she wore was beyond ridiculous. Plus, she was a psychotic bitch.

_Now, I don't feel like I have a right to judge other's appearances because I think I'm better looking then them. I mean, I am definitely better looking then the Rattray's, but that not why I judge them. They are just awful people down to their core, and sometimes you can just see that in people._

_With my habit of cussing whenever possible, often at inappropriate times, I can't claim to be the best person ever. Especially because I have a warped sense of humor… but I think I'm funny. I also think I'm moderately attractive, not in a narcissistic way. I couldn't be a model or anything. I'm 5'9" so I guess I have the model height, but that's where the similarities' stop. I'm very curvaceous (Think 40" 34" 36") and have long-ish, dark brown hair that tends to be frizzy, wavy or straight and a constant hassle. Probably the Mexican blood in me. I'm also very fair skinned, definitely the Irish blood in me, and have dark green eyes which look particularly greener because of the dark green shirt I'm wearing…_

_Where did this shirt come from? And these dark blue jeans? I practically showed up here in someone else's clothes._

_Except the pink converse. Those are mine. Weird…_

So, I had already had to deal with the Rattray's antics.

And then Bill Compton walks in.

_I say again, Murphy's fuckin' law._

It's not that I wasn't on Team Bill. Well, it's not _just _that anyway.

Compton's appearance meant that the night just got a hell'uva lot longer.

He sat in Sookie's section, in the booth in front of the Rattray's, as I knew he would. Sookie didn't seem surprised by that either. She definitely recognized him when he walked in, but in this timeline she wasn't excited like she was in the book. Her first meeting with a vampire and she knows he was sent to kidnap her. That can't be fun.

I made my way over to Sookie.

"I can't "hear" him!" she whispered none too silent like.

I quickly made the "don't say another word" signal by putting my finger over my lips. She got the point.

We quietly made our way back to Sam's office to inform him of the new hell we just walked into.

"You have to tell us everything you know about what's meant to happen tonight and how we can prevent it…" Sam demanded.

"Ok, ok. First, Sookie, you need to know that vampire's have super senses. They can hear very well"

She nodded and continued listening

"also, your blood smells sweeter to them… for a few different reasons."

Sookie blushed a couple seconds later, and I could tell she thought of one of the reasons I was implying.

"This vampire in particular was sent by the Queen of Louisiana. You see, vampires have a different government system than humans do…" I went on to tell her of the vampire social order and random vampire tid bits I thought might help. I could tell she was shocked by the information but absorbed it none the less.

"How did the Queen know that Sookie was a telepath?" Sam asked once I had concluded my vamp 101 lesson.

_I was really hoping to have some time before having to into all of this. I'm really going to have to re-think my strategy. Maybe Mrs. Fortenberry is still here…_

_Nooo, I can't leave Sookie to fend for herself. She's been pretty good to me when she really had no reason to be. _

_Prepare yourself for a shit storm, Linsey._

"From what I saw"

_Yeah, playing the psychic!_

"From what I saw, there was a blond pet to the queen. Seems like she's your sister, Sookie?"

_Have to play a little dumb, just in case the world explodes around me for changing the timeline._

Sookie shakes her head, "I don't have a sister."

"Cousin, maybe?" I say as if I don't know, even though I do.

"Hadley! I haven't seen her for years!" Her surprise soon turned into hurt and anger "How could she do this to me? !"

Sookie looked to me for answers. I shrugged my shoulders, I didn't actually remember why Hadley had sold out Sookie.

"I think she wanted to get into the Queen's favors… in more ways then one." That comment earned me a confused look from both Sam and Sookie.

"She's uh, she's "with" the Queen. and she might be a vampire now"

She gasped, sat down quickly, and was looking quite faint for a moment. Sam gave me a stern look, I had definitely said too much.

"I'm sorry, I should learn when to stop talking. Are you okay? If it makes you feel better, she loves the Queen and the Queen loves her. She's really happy." I explained.

Sookie seemed to relax after hearing that "I'm glad to know she's alive, well, not completely dead, and happy. Thank you. I wouldn't have found out otherwise." She smiled a little at me.

_Technically she would have found out eventually, but I wasn't going to ruin the moment. _

She put her game face on "Alright we need a plan for the vampire out there."

"Well, he's here to report back to the queen and tell her whether you're a telepath or not. In order to do that, he's going to have the Rattray's drain him out in the parking lot and hope that you're hear what they're going to do and save him."

"What I think we should do, is let them…"

"Sounds good to me." Sam agreed.

Sookie looked at us in horror "Even if he is here to take me against my will, I will not leave him to die!"

_Figures…_

"Alright how about this…"

I quickly came up with a plan that we all, surprisingly, agreed on.

I ran to the bathroom to change my clothes, time was of the essence.

Sporting my new Merlotte's uniform, I walked over to the bar where Sam was waiting for me. I was now a waitress in training. Sam and I walked over to Bill's table

"Hello, sir. My name is Linsey. I am new to the Merlotte's family, I hope you will be patient with me" I said monotone as if I were reading from a note card.

He sniffed the air around me, giving me and odd look, then schooled his features.

"Actually, I'd prefer to sit at a different table." He said as he saw Sookie working in a different section.

_His ol' southern twang accent isn't that attractive. And sniffing people is just rude!_

He went to stand but Sam came to the rescue once again

"Sorry, but my only other waitress isn't feeling well and isn't handling anymore tables."

"Also, there isn't any True Blood. Just put an order in though, so you could come back another time?" I added hopefully.

_If he leaves now I could take a nap in Sam's office! maybe._

"I'll just have a glass of wine then" he said as he waved me off.

_You're welcome, ass! So much for that nap._

_That blood of his must have really done a number on Sookie if she fell for that twat._

I walked back towards Bill's booth, wine in hand, and saw that the Rattray's had started to play their part in the evening events.

Denise sat close to Bill, any closer and she'd be on his lap. She was putting up her hair and theatrically running her fingers along her neck trying to entice Bill. He actually looked interested… gross.

_He knows they're going to drain him, right?_

_To each, their own I guess…_

All the while Mack was watching Bill and licking his lips.

_Thinking about the 'V' he would acquire soon, no doubt. _

As I approached their table, all eyes were on me. Mack's lust filled gaze, Denise looking hateful as ever, and Bill was obviously annoyed I wasn't Sookie.

"You're drink, sir. Is there anything else I can get you?"

"When did you start working here, new girl?" Mack asked my cleavage.

_Eyes are up here buddy!_

"I decided to stay in town for a little while longer, and Sam needed some extra help… so here I am." I said as politely as I could considering to whom I was speaking to.

Denise scoffed "Yeah right! You just appeared out of thin air and a few hours later you're working here?"

_What a bitch…_

Bill quirked his eyebrow up at that.

_Shit, hope he doesn't know we're on to him!_

I shrugged my shoulders "Just got lucky I came through a town with such nice people, I guess."

_Hope that's believable._

"Whatever..." Denise said as she rolled her eyes and went back to rubbing the inside on Bill's thigh.

Mack was apparently too hypnotized by my breasts to order anything, so I just walked away.

Sookie met up to me near Sam's office giggling. Her job tonight was to act especially crazy whenever she was in hearing distance of Bill. She seemed to be having a lot of fun with it.

She had been laughing loud and heartily by herself at random moments while serving, and telling some customers that their recently deceased pets were trying to speak through her. That was followed by an uproarious performance where she'd make random animal sounds. If any of the other towns folk mentioned her odd behavior we were going to say it was a bad case of food poisoning.

I had to tell a lot of people that too. Sookie sure was dedicated to her crazy role and I admired her bravery. It takes a lot of guts to act like a fool and not care what other's think of you.

_I guess all she ever really hears is what people really think of her so she must be used to it. Still, it can't do wonder's for one's self esteem…_

"I've been talking to my imaginary friends all night!" she said through her laughter "when I walked past Bill's table I said 'No, Princess Butterscotch! You can not have any more punch! It gives you a urinary tract infection. Besides, Prince Francisco drank it all…" I had tears in my eyes from laughing by the time she finished talking.

That was a good pick-me-up. I had to actually take orders and get drinks. It is not a fun job and more difficult than I imagined. People can be down right rude. I was already exhausted way before I even started, and after working, I could be confused for a zombie. Luckily, the night was almost over. Only one more think to do.

The Rattray's and Compton were still sitting at the table. I could tell they were itching to get him outside. I was carrying a tray table of awkwardly placed bowls of soup, hot hot soup, and 2 pitchers of beer, cold cold beer. Coincidently, I just happened to trip, running into Sookie and dumping all of the contents on the tray directly on top of Mack, Denise, and Bill.

"You dumb BITCH!" Sookie spat at me.

"I'm so sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Please, I didn't mean to!" I repeated over and over trying to clean up the 'accidental' mess I made. Bill remained impassive as he wiped at the tomato soup that dripped from his face. Denise was seething, but Sookie looked murderous.

"I will use my telekinesis to kill you!" Sookie closed her eyes and just stood there silently. The rest of the bar was silent as well. It was nearly impossible to keep myself from laughing. She was standing there with her eyes tightly shut, fists clenched at her sides and holding her breath. Everyone watched as she started turning a reddish purple. Sam stepped in and lifted Sookie taking her to his office. As he carried her she hadn't moved a muscle, still remaining in the stiff upright position.

_Hahaha Damn, she's good!_

Once they disappeared, the room's eyes lingered at the empty hallway Sam just walked through.

"What a nutter…" I said quietly, though everyone heard me. All at once, every head nodded in agreement, still in a shocked silence.

I turned to Bill and the Rattray's, also a funny site, they were still soaked with beer and soup.

"I am truly sorry. I'll pay for your drinks" I apologized.

"You'll pay for more than that!" Denise yelled.

"Your dry cleaning?" I smiled, not being able to help myself.

By this time Sam came back out to offer the Rattray's and Bill a meal/drink on the house, but he wasn't quick enough.

Denise launched at me, tackling me to the ground. If I wasn't caught completely off guard I could've defended myself a little better. But, as it was, she was kicking my ass.

"Get'er good, honey!" Mack cheered, from his seat.

She landed two good punches to my face before Sam was able to pull her off of me. And as a parting gift she kicked me in the ribs.

I laid there staring at the ceiling shocked that I didn't see the coming. While wondering what went wrong, Sam escorted Denise and Mack outside. Evidently, Bill had left during the scuffle. At least that means Sookie is safe for now.

Sam helped me to my feet, for the second time that day.

_God! Is it still the first day? !_

My ribs ached, but I'd live. We met Sookie back in the office. When I walked in she ran over and hugged me.

_Okay…_

"Thank you… for helping." she said awkwardly as she pulled away from me "and sorry I called you a bitch. I was in the moment."

She was smiling so I smiled back and said

"I'm glad it went according to plan... sort of."

"Yeah, what happened out there? I was only gone 2 minutes" Sam inquired.

I laughed hesitantly, "heh, my mouth didn't know when to shut up, as usual." I told them what I had said, and they laughed.

After handing me an ice pack for my eye, Sam told us to leave. This time Sookie didn't resist.

_Fingers crossed that Bill bought our little rouse. Also that I won't be black and blue tomorrow…_

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><p>so, how was it? I know some of it's a lil goofy, perhaps down right unbelievable, but I hope you're still with me here :)<p>

big ol' leopard print snuggie to everyone who read this chapter! and a pair of pajama jeans to all of those who review (not really)

happy holidays!


	5. Chapter 5

**A little filler. **

**I'm still writing so should update a longer one tonight.**

** Sorry to those who have alerted the story. **

**I will try to update regularly but I have a short attention span : )**

** on with the show.. That I don't own any of the characters you've known previously. (does that make sense?)**

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><p>I refused to open my eyes when I awoke. If I did, I knew it meant the I hadn't dreamt the whole day before. If I opened my eyes, it meant that I'd have to get up and couldn't keep lying there pretending I was in my own bed, in my own apartment. The only positive was the smell of freshly cooked breakfast wafting up from downstairs. That alone was enough to end my pretending. I stretched out across the bed, trying to rid myself of the leftover sleepiness.<p>

_OW!_

My whole face and body was sore.

_Fuck…_

_Really not a dream_

_Well, that was a short lived good morning._

I gently rolled out of bed and trotted over to the en suite bathroom. I used the toilet, washed my hands, and stood in front of the mirror, staring at myself. Sookie had let me borrow a nightshirt, with tweety bird on the front, that was almost inappropriately short since I was much taller than her. I felt as if I was wearing a child's nightgown.

I slowly brought my hand up to my face to test the bruises. The shiner around my right eye was a bright green and yellow.

_That's good._

_Purple bruises would've clashed with my outfit…_

_At least they're almost gone._

I lifted the shirt to see the damaged done to my ribs. The bruises there were a lot more prominent with their dark purple and red colorings. I sighed, knowing that I would be feeling like shit for the next couple days.

_I hope Bill still kills the Ratts!_

Once finished with my personal examination, I made my way downstairs ready to sample Gran's famous cooking skills.

I had met Gran the night before when Sookie and I made our way to Hummingbird lane after the Merlotte's debacle. Sookie's Gran was sitting at the kitchen table when we entered. We were so exhausted that we almost walked right past her.

"Long day, sweetie?" Gran asked Sookie.

Sookie nodded, "The longest, Gran. I'm gunna head straight to bed…" she said as she began to walk away.

"Ok dear, but first, who's your friend?"

"Oh! I'm sorry, Gran. This is Linsey. She helped me out a lot today, and she needed a place to stay…" she trailed off.

"Hello Linsey, I'm Adele" she said as she took my hand in hers, "Sookie, I would have appreciated some notice so I could have set up the guest room with clean sheets, and you know I don't like being unprepared when we have a guest… but we couldn't be leaving you out in the cold, so of course you can stay." she finished with a kind smile.

"Thank you so much, I won't be too much of a burden, and I'll help in any way I can. I don't plan on staying very long…" I said returning her smile.

"We'll talk more in the morning, dear. Sookie, you show her to the room upstairs, then get to bed. You both look exhausted."

"Thanks Gran" "Thanks Adele, goodnight" we said as Sookie and I made our way upstairs.

I was willing to lay down on the kitchen floor, as long as I got to sleep. But I was very grateful to have a nice warm bed for the night.

Sookie lead me to a smallish room, then ran to her room to grab me something to sleep in.

I said goodnight and changed once she left the room. As soon as I laid down, I was out for the count.

Homemade breakfast, or any meal for that matter, was not something I was used to. At home, my home, my world or whatever, takeout was almost an everyday occurrence. Sometimes I would travel to my brother's house and he'd cook out on the grill but that wasn't very often.

_I never thought I would miss my home so much…_

Now was not the time to melancholy. I had to stay on guard here.

I walked into the kitchen and was greeted by both Sookie and Adele. I was told to sit down and Adele served me eggs, bacon, sausage, AND pancakes.

_I could used to this!_

"Sookie told me all about what happened last night with the Rattrays!" Adele said while handing me an icepack for my eye. "I can't thank you enough for protecting my Sookie here!" then she gave me a big grandmother hug. It was enough to bring a couple of tears to my eyes, which I quickly blinked back.

I wasn't sure what Sookie had told her, so I just said "It was no problem, really. Sookie helped me more than I helped her."

Just then the front door slammed and we all turned to see Jason standing in the doorway.

"Jason Stackhouse! What have I always said about slamming doors!" Adele scolded.

"Sorry, Gran." Jason said, shoulders slumped, making his way to the table. He was over it quickly once he started shoving his face full of food.

"Who are you?" he said with a mouth stuffed with bacon.

"Jason! Rude!" Sookie reprimanded, but Gran followed with a 'whack' on the back of his head with a plastic spatula.

Jason rubbed his head, "Ow, Gran!" She stood behind him smiling "This is Sookie's new friend Linsey. She'll be staying here for a few nights."

I stuck my hand out to shake his "Hi, it's nice to meet you"

_Cute but has a pile of rocks for brains_

He shook my hand as his eyes traveled further south to my chest.

_Damn tweety bird!_

The phone rang, breaking his attention, thankfully. Adele excused herself to talk on the phone and Jason, Sookie, and I talked about the night before.

He was pissed that he missed the action. He said he would've stepped up to defend me but then backtracked because he could never hit a woman, even if it was Denise Rattray.

Soon Adele returned, grasping her chest "Omg! I can't believe it!"

Sookie rushed up to her Gran "What's wrong?"

"Maudette Pickens was murdered last night!" a collective gasp was heard throughout the room.

_Aw, fuck me!_

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><p><strong>I know it's so short! <strong>

**don't hate me, rate me : )**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello readers : )**

** hope you're all still with me. **

**Another short one, I know I suck. But I'm trying.**

**Plus, collectively, the last chapter and this one are like 3,000+ words, so I did write quite a bit the last few hours lol. **

**Hope you enjoy.**

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><p>Jason shot out of his seat "OMG!"<p>

_Damn it! How did I completely forget Maudette would be murdered last night! _

_Well, I did have other things on my mind…_

_O, man, I kind of feel awful! I could've have saved her life! _

_That's a scary thought… am I now partly responsible for her death? For any death that occurs here? I could've stopped Rene, but I did realize it would happen so soon. I mean, how could I have really known? _

_I want to keep to the book, but how can I stand by when I know all these people are going to die!_

_Dawn would be next_

_Then Gran_

_Definitely can't let Lenier murder gran._

_or Tina… Sookie's cat_

_(plus Mack and Denise… maybe I'll overlook them…)_

"She was in your grade, wasn't she Sookie?" Gran's question drew me out of my head.

I knew at this moment Jason was freaking out thinking he accidentally killed Maudette. He was standing there, white as a sheet, mouth hanging open when suddenly he ran to the back door "Gotta go, thanks for breakfast!" Soon after his tires skidded down the gravel, leaving Adele and Sookie wondering what got into him.

"Yeah, she was in my class. I can't believe there's a murderer in Bon Temps!"

We sat silent for a few moments. None of us particularly hungry any more.

"I gotta get ready for work" Sookie announced.

I didn't want to be stuck at the house, I was always bad with small talk. Adele was very sweet and kind, but I already felt like a troublesome kid, so I asked Sookie if she minded I go to Merlotte's with her. She said sure, though it didn't seem as if she was comfortable with me being around all day. She probably thought if I was crazy, it was better that I was around her in public and not alone with her Gran.

_Neither one has gotten out the shotgun yet, so that's good._

We were on our way to Merlotte's. Adele had washed most of my clothes that morning, so I thankfully had clean knickers and pants. Sookie let me wear one of her tops. It was pink with scalloped sleeves and a square neckline. The bottom of the shirt was just above my navel and had elastic ruffles all the way around. I'm sure it would've looked great on her. But, it made me look like Tom Hanks in "Big" when he wakes up in the morning and he's still wearing his normal clothes but now he's a 30 year old man so they're too small. Yeah, that's how I felt. I may be exaggerating a bit, I was uncomfortable, though.

It was a short drive to Merlotte's but on the way Sookie informed me that she told her Gran that the Rattrays and a vampire had been harassing her, and that I stepped in and saved the day.

"I feel bad for lying to her… I've never really done that before" Sookie said guiltily.

_Only one day here and I'm already screwing things up!_

"I think you can tell her the truth." I told her "you should tell her. I think you guys should both talk when you get back from work…"

Sookie gave me a sideways glance "You really think I should tell her? About everything?"

"Yeah, definitely. I think she'll surprise you" I added with a bit of mystery and foreshadowing that Sookie seemed to noticed.

"What else do you know?" She asked, narrowing her eyes, as we parked at Merlotte's.

"Nothing" I said a little too quickly, and her eyes narrowed even more "Nothing that I can tell you…" I said lamely.

"Will you tell me when I need to know? If I can do something?" her eyes were basically tiny slits, she was watching me so closely.

"I promise, I will tell you everything I can, when I can…" I crossed my fingers hoping it would suffice.

It must have because she nodded her head slowly in acceptance and exited the car. I soon followed, but was nearly tackled to the ground by Sam as he left his trailor.

"Morning Sookie! Linsey! I have something for you!" Sam chirped running back inside his home.

_He seems oddly happy_.

Sookie and I eyed each other and she shrugged her shoulders.

Sam came back outside holding the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. In fact, it WAS my life in so many ways. My lovely, lovely purple beast of a purse!

I had never been so happy! I didn't care if I was ever happy again!

_My things!_

_Mine!_

_My precious!_

In my excitement, I found myself wrapping Sam into a tight embrace, swaying back and forth. Separating was very awkward, but I didn't dwell.

"How did you find this?" I asked once I composed myself.

Sam was still blushing and ran a hand through his hair

_Trademark move_

"I was just out running last night and I saw something giant and purple lying in the woods, about 20 yards that way" he said pointing off into the trees "I just went to check it out. I looked inside to check for I.D. I hope you don't mind…" He trailed off looking at me.

I had been subconsciously petting my bag throughout the whole story as if I were an evil overlord and my purse was Mr. Bigglesworth. It was just nice to have something the proves I existed. That I wasn't all that crazy after all… even though I was stroking an inanimate object (_ay, minds out of the gutters_).

'No, that's fine! I'm just so happy I have something that's mine! Is that weird?" I asked looking from Sam to Sookie. Sookie just smiled and shook her head no.

"Alright lets head inside. Linsey, you sticking around during Sookie's shift?" I nodded yes, still clutching my bag in a death grip. "Well, you did so well yesterday… mind working for a bit? I'll pay you for your time, of course" he said hopefully.

"Of course, Sam! Anything I can do."

_Who am I to say no to the man who practically found my lost child?_

And that is how I wound up working at Mertlotte's. That day was very busy. Gossip was going a mile a minute. Everyone speculating about Maudette's murder, vampires, and myself. I was asked questions here and there about where I was from, how long I was staying, people were being very welcoming. But according to Sookie… Everyone thought I might have killed Maudette.

_Awesome! This is exactly how I wanted this to go!_

_Fuck!_

I paced back and forth in Sam's office.

"It's not that bad…" Sookie tried to reassure me "I can vouch for you, I mean you were at my house"

She had a point for a second but then I realized she wouldn't be able to honestly tell the sheriff that she knew I was there all night, and I told her as much.

"… You didn't kill her, right?" she asked hesitantly while slightly backing away from me.

"NO! I didn't kill her! I don't even know who she is!" I said desperately "You're basically the person I know here! If you don't believe me… I am so fucked!"

I fell into Sam's chair utterly defeated.

"I believe you." I gave her an unbelieving look "I want to believe you" she corrected, "Let me see into your head, then I'll know for sure"

Something told me she wanted to go digging around in my mind for a bit more than just my innocence.

I sighed "I don't even know how to do that! I don't know what I did last time."

"Try" she insisted.

_This is going to end horribly…_

_Fuck it, what's the worse that could happen?_

_Fuck! Should not have thought that!_

_Now I'm gunna be really fucked._

__"Let me try holding your hand, sometimes touching helps..."she said.

_Feel like I've read that a million times... hope she didn't hear that..._

_alright, here we go._

_Think at Sookie… Think at Sookie_

_How the hell do you do this?_

_**Think at Sookie! THINK!**_

Apparently, mind yelling did the trick. Sookie collapsed to the floor clutching her head.

I quickly dropped down beside her "Sookie! Are you okay?"

She was visibly shaking but she nodded.

She looked up at me with wide eyes "I believe you. I saw you were telling the truth… I saw your home? Where did you say your were from again?" she asked semi-accusingly.

_Seriously? !_

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><p><em>I'll write more tomorrow... I might be lying. But I hope I'm telling the truth.<em>

_also if this is starting to not make any sense please tell me lol_

_It's late, and when I'm tired my brain ceases to function correctly. I need to write earlier in the day _


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey folks! : )**

**chapter 7: finished and awaiting your eyes. that's not like the title, I was just saying "read it" in a weird way.**

**Anyways, hope you like it. Hope I don't have to change anything after posting it. Hope you're having a good/great/better new year. **

**don't own it if you know it. **

**Chapter 8 might be posted tonight too. depending on how much I write in the next hour or so**

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><p>I am a horrible liar, as it turns out. I had spent nearly an hour trying to convince Sookie that I didn't remember anything prior to waking up in the parking lot.<p>

She wasn't buying it. So, I told her _some_ truths in hopes that I wouldn't have to start stripping at _Fangtasia _or something in order to survive.

Sookie sat at Sam's desk eyeing me down. I tried looking all doe-eyed and innocent whilst pleading my case.

"You expect me to believe that you just 'appeared' here? That you were safely tucked away in your apartment in Ohio, and the next thing you know, you're here in Bon Temps and you randomly have visions of the future… _my_ future in particular?" she said incredulously.

"More or less…"

_Definitely more_

"I mean, Sookie, think about it. Vampires just came out of the coffin, what 2 years ago?, haven't you ever thought that there's more weird shit being hidden in the world?" I tried to explain.

"Like what? Who would've wanted you to pop up in Bon Temps and know my future?

_Good question. Who would have the power to actually do this to me? _

_Witches? maybe…_

_FAIRIES! Sneaky bastards that they seem to be, I wouldn't doubt it._

_I'll have to think on that some more…_

"It could've been Samantha Stephens, Harry Potter! I don't know! But it's true!"

_Sort of_

"You said you saw my past. You saw my brother, my nephew, mom, dad in suburban Ohio. You know I'm just a normal person, in a shitty situation! You saw the creepy witch that said 'You'll be going on a trip soon' or whatever, all creepy witch like!"

By this time, I may have been yelling. Causing Sam to come in. One: to tell us that his only 2 waitresses have been gone for an hour, two: to protect Sookie.

_Of course._

"Sookie, you alright?" Sam said giving me the side-eye.

"Yeah, Sam, we're all right." She replied with a nod and a small, very small, smile towards me. I took her wording and nod as a cryptic meaning saying that she believed me.

With a sigh of relief, we all went back to work. The rest of the workday was tough with the bar being crowded, and everyone thinking I was a murderer, but Sam paid me and I got some tips. It was well worth it.

_Yay! Money!_

Sookie and I arrived back at her house around 5 p.m. and Gran was making dinner. I was thankful to have a normal day, _minus the whole being in a book thing._

While helping clear up the dishes, there was a knock on the door. Sookie answered it with a very audible gasp. I walked over to where she was standing and my jaw joined hers on the floor.

Bill Compton was standing there with a stupid southern gentleman grin on his face. "Good evening ladies. I don't know if you remember me, I was at Merlotte's last night. As it turns out, we are also neighbors" he said pointing in the direction of his home "My electricity seems to have gone out, I was hoping to possibly use your telephone?" he smarmily asked.

_Creepy Compton, indeed!_

_Does he think he's charming? He isn't fooling anybody._

Sookie looked to me for help.

I shrugged my shoulders in reply.

_This wasn't in the book!_

When I looked back at Compton, I started feeling strange. Almost nauseous, for reasons other than seeing his face. My head began to swim.

"Invite me in to use your phone… please" he said 'please' as if it physically hurt him to say it.

"Mr. Compton won't you please c…" I could feel him in my head, trying to make me say it. At first, it felt natural, like I thought it was my idea to say it. But, as I followed his demand, my sudden headache increased. The pounding seemed to have knocked some sense into me because I had full control of my mind.

_Glamouring sons of bitches!_

_Who knows what would have happened if I said all of that sentence…_

"Mr. Compton, won't you please c…ome back another time? We're a little busy right now" I finished quickly and slammed the door shut.

"What…" Sookie began to say but I covered her mouth with my hand and pointed to the door. She nodded in understanding.

A few minutes passed and finally Bill left the porch.

"You almost invited him in!" Sookie slapped my arm.

"Glamour" I replied, ashamed.

_This sucks! I could seriously screw things up if I can be glamoured. What if an older vampire has stronger glamour and I can't resist it?_

_Another shitty thing to think about another shitty time._

"I sorry, Sook. I didn't know I could be glamoured. At least I stopped it in time" I said apologetically. Which she accpeted.

We spent the rest of the night talking about our lives and what not.

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><p>When I went to my room to get ready for sleep, I saw my purse on laying on the bed. I was so insanely happy and thankful my purse was there! But, my happiness soon turned to suspicion.<p>

_How did it get here? If I was sleeping, I wouldn't have had my purse with me… _

_Who ever sent it with me, or after me for all I know, must've been the same person, or people, who changed my clothes…_

_that's a little creepy._

_Ugh, this is such a clusterfuck!_

As I sat on the bed, I started pulling things out of my purse to check inventory.

_Camera_

I flipped through the last photos that were taken. My nephew at the park, us at the fair… a few tears escaped my eyes.

_What If I die here? I could be walking down the street and then 'whoosh' , vampire is draining me in some alleyway!_

_Must stay optimistic! I'll find a way home…_

After a brief breakdown, I continued rooting through my purse.

_Phone! Maybe I can call someone!_

I tried to call my dad's number… And of course, Mrs. Lady robot says "If you're trying to make a call, please hang up, and try again."

_because nothing is ever simple, is it?_

_What else…_

_Book! _

With shaking hands, I pulled the book out of my bag.

_Could it be?…_

_No._

_Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman._

_Well, Something to good to read while I wait for another hell to swallow me whole._

_Look at me Miss. Positivity…_

_Wallets in here. That's good, got a few hundred dollars sitting in the bank right now. Should go get some clothes if I'm gunna be here a while._

_I'll call in the morning to see how much exactly…_

Once I filled my purse back up with it's mostly useless tid bits, I did my nightly routine and went to sleep wishing to wake up at home.

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><p><strong>Short is my middle name (it's not, but if it were, it would be fitting)<strong>

**If i write shorter chappys I will more than likely, fingers crossed, post more than once that day.**

**also, I had a review last chapter about my cussing. Saying I do it too much apparently. **

**Honestly I'm toning it down the way it is lol I think if I say fuck 3 times within 2,000 or so words, I'm not saying it enough.**

**I will try to make a conscious effort to bring it back though if it's really that bothersome, but I'm not promising I'll be successful. I think the swear words invoke the situation and emotions of the characters. **

**we'll see, i suppose. **

thanks for reading! reviews are always welcome in my house! (unlike compton!)

**a/n:**

**I thought I should also mention that "creepy compton" was in a few other true blood/svm fan fic's I have read. I think the description is perfect, im not trying to rip off any other authors.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Yeah! Another chapter finished! **

**it's nearly 3:00 a.m. and I have to be up in a couple hours lol.**

**my brain's a bit loopy at the moment, so I hope this is a good chapter and made sense and progressed the story more. **

**I was tired of the "5 chapters for 1 day to pass" thing I was doing haha **

**this will not be an everyday account of what happens anymore :P**

**again if you get more than 1 alert i'm sorry. sometimes i miss mistakes during my first 20 read-throughs, and sometimes I can't help but fix them. **

**I see issues in past chapters that bug me but I leave them so I won't annoy you lol **

**don't own what you know, mistakes are my own and what not.**

**without further ado, chapter 8 :)**

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><p>I had made enough money the night before to buy some cheap essentials at the Bon Temps K-Mart<p>

_There's always a K-Mart_

Sookie said she'd go with me, thankfully, because how else was I supposed to get there.

I went straight to the clothes section. There was no way I was going to spend another day in Sookie's clothes. We wore the same size, 10, 8 on a good day, there aren't many good days lately so she was running out of clothes to share. Plus our style was completely different. Sookie is more of a yellow pants, white furry jacket, lace-up jeans, and hooker tomato red dress kind of girl. She has more "everyday" types of clothes, but her closest could really use some updating.

_Lace-up jeans? Really?_

I mentally slapped myself for being so judgmental.

_It's not Sookie's fault she was written by a 50+ year old._

I have always been a fan of jeans and a t-shirt for relaxed days. Hoodies or zip-up if it's cold. Skirts and dresses on rare occasions, but I still love to be girly and dress up.

With the $70 I had, I picked up a toothbrush, deodorant, some 99cent make up, 3 shirts, a jacket for if it got chilly, and 2 pairs of jeans.

I saw some other cute clothes and random items that would have been nice to get, so before heading to the cash register, I called my bank to see how much I had.

_Huh, 3526? I don't think those are the right last four of my card number?…_

_$200,000! ?_

_$200,000! ? ! ? _

_$200,000!_

_I can't… what? !_

_Where the hell did $200,000 come from? !_

I nearly fell over at the thought of that much money! Not knowing where it came from, I talked to a clerk and they mentioned the account had been set up and money deposited 1 day prior to me even being there!

_Before I was even here? How is that possible?_

_What I should be asking is: How is __**any **__of this possible?_

_Well, fuck it. I could be gone tomorrow. Whosever money this is, I'm spending it._

I admit I may have gone a little crazy. Sookie asked if I had a lot of money, I told her the truth.

"What? You mean it just showed up in your account?" she asked shocked.

"That's exactly what I mean!" I exclaimed.

I withheld the information that the account had just been created by an unidentified source.

"And you're going to spend it? You don't even know who's it is!"

"It's mine now" I laughed.

Needless to say, she did not approve.

_O, well_

_Back to shopping!_

I went back and grabbed the nicer foundation, eye-liner, mascara, lipstick, etc.

_No 99 cent make up for me!_

I added new underwear (not in a pack of 3), the only 2 bras I could find,

_It's always difficult to find my size in a department store…_

the cutest teal 4 inch heels and a adorable green dress I had been eyeing earlier, a couple pairs of flats, a few more shirts, pants, skirts, dresses.

_Prepared for anything!…_

_Clothes wise. _

And a nice houndstooth patterned suitcase, with matching bag, to put everything in.

_Yay! New things!_

_I love to shop…_

_I may have a problem._

* * *

><p>Once we left the store, I begged Sookie to let me put gas in her car and told her I wanted to take her, her gran, and Jason out to dinner that night.<p>

"You have been driving me around, and feeding me since I got here. You have to let me help in some way!" I pleaded.

She refused a full tank of gas and a night out, but I was able to get her to allow me to put some gas in the car and _make_ dinner that night.

We went to the grocery store and I bought ingredients for the only meal I cook well, Spaghetti and homemade meatballs. I may have bought a few extra basic household foods 'on accident'.

Sookie realized it straight away when I told her what I was making then she unpacked chicken breast and lunch meats from the plastic bag. She narrowed her eyes at me but smiled too.

Dinner went well. The Stackhouse's didn't really seem like a spaghetti eating family. More like a southern chicken fried steak kind of family. But I make some damn good spaghetti and meatballs, so we all enjoyed it.

We all went to bed soon afterwards, me, grateful for no Bill Compton or any other craziness occurring that night.

_Spoke to soon…_

I awoke from a deep sleep with and odd sensation. I opened my eyes. It was still dark out but there was a glow coming from across the room. I blinked and rubbed my eyes as the glowing blob got closer. The blob slowly morphed into a person.

_Holy shit!_

I scrambled away, backing up into the corner of the bed, grabbing the closest thing to me. Which happened to be a picture frame.

_Useless_

A beautiful, enchanting woman was standing at the foot of the bed, smiling at me.

"Hi Linsey!" she came over and hugged me as if we had known each other for years.

"I'm Claudine!" she exclaimed

I was speechless.

"Claudine Crane…"

Still stunned in silence.

"You know, as in Sookie's fairy godmother/cousin." she continued.

I nodded my head slowly, still in shock.

_I am meeting actual Vampires, shifters, and fairies! _

_This is insane!_

"I've been wanting to meet you!" she said excitedly, jumping onto the bed "I can't believe you're actually here!"

_You and me both!_

"It took forever to find you. You have no idea." Claudine sighed.

"W… What do you mean?" I asked timidly.

"Bringing people over from another realm is a lot of work." she explained "It took a lot of magic and energy, but it's not like we had a choice, you know? You have to be here."

I asked her the question I've been asking myself since day one in the Sookieverse "Why do I have to be here? Why am I here?"

"You don't know?"

I shook my head no.

"I don't understand… we sent an elder to talk to you, ask for your help." she stated shocked and confused.

I tried to help by saying "I was approached by this old lady that said I was going on a 'journey'…?"

"That's all she said? Ugh… elders! always speaking in riddles!" she said exasperated, "You're here because we need you to save Sookie!"

"What? How?"

"She isn't meant to get involved with Bill at all. You're the only one that can stop it from happening."

"Why me?"

"You know the story!"

"Thousands, _millions,_ of other people have read the books. I'm certainly not an expert or anything…" I reasoned.

"You're close" she chuckled, but when she saw my stern look she stopped. "You were chosen. I don't think it was for one reason alone. It's you. It's your destiny."

_Not this destiny bullshit_

"I don't believe in destiny" I scoffed, "We make our own choices! I didn't get a choice!"

She gave me a know-all look "Honestly, Linsey, If you had a choice, would you have said no?"

_Shit, got me there_

"Still a little warning would've been nice." I said defeated.

Claudine offered me a kind smile "You're doing a very good job so far. You've only been here 3 days and already you have sent Bill packing." she ended proudly. "And you seem to have made use of the account we set up for you" she laughed and I found myself joining her.

"Thank you for that, by the way. It's more money than I've ever had but I'm sure I'll find some more uses for it" I joked.

Then her demeanor changed to serious "He will be back though… Bill"

_As if she had to clarify._

"and possibly with reinforcements. You're going to have to seek out another vampire's help. One older and higher up the vampire food chain…"

_Gee, let me guess_

"Eric Northman" I said with a little more excitement than I intended.

She smiled and nodded "He would definitely be a worthy ally. _IF_ you can get him to agree to help."

Just then the glow around her flickered "I have to be getting home now…"

"Wait! I still have questions! You can't leave yet!" I jumped up to grab her retreating form.

"I'll be back when I can" her voice almost a whisper. Looking at me sympathetically she said "I'm sorry" and with a _pop_, was gone.

My brain was overloaded. I tried to sleep but all I could do was lay there, staring at the ceiling; my mind running around in circles.

_What am I supposed to do?_

_Sookie hardly trusts me as it is, how am I supposed to stick around until this Bill thing is resolved? _

_I have nothing to go by anymore! The games already changed now that Bill didn't give Sookie his blood!_

_And then there's Eric Northman! I am going to see, no, meet, __**talk **__to Eric fucking Northman!_

_But what if there was a way for me to "go by the books" as they say… _

_Just because the situation with Bill has to change, has changed, doesn't mean I'm supposed to, or should, change anything else that happens._

_This is all too frustrating! _

_Claudine couldn't have stayed another 5 minutes!_

I took a deep breath to calm myself. Going into panic mode wouldn't help anything.

_At least I got some answers…_

My body and brain realized it was exhausted and I fell asleep wondering excitedly:

_What will I wear for my first meeting with Eric Northman?_

* * *

><p><strong>Northman's big bad self will be introduced next chapter! I am very excited, and intimidated, for that. It is a little daunting writing such a sexy character. <strong>

**we'll see what happens with that lol I'm on the same ride as you, I just find out what happens a little bit earlier, that's all**

**thanks for reading! review and i'll share my pretend boyfriend alexander skarsgard for the night :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello readers :::avoids tomatoes being mercilessly thrown::: **

**I'm sorry it's been so long since I've updated!**

**I really do have a short attention span**

**I was writing for a while then I decided I wanted to paint, did that for like a week, and now I'm writing again. lol**

**I hope you're still with me . I haven't even reread this so there may be some, or many, mistakes. **

**I know I promised a few people it would be longer! I'M SORRY! :( I got about 2,000 words in this one. I wanted to make it to 4,000 but the ending felt right and Fangtasia deserves it's own chappy. **

**I will really really try to do 4,000 today. I'm still writing so there should be another update soon. **

**please don't hate me**

**(it's kind of funny that it's taking me so long to get to the whole reason I started writing this in the first place _ERIC_!)**

* * *

><p>I desperately wanted to go shopping again. I was nervous about going to Fangtasia, second guessing everything, and I wanted something non-k-marty to wear, but Sookie refused to take me saying how she disapproves of the unnecessary spending of money.<p>

_Okay , mom._

Sookie was working at Merlotte's until 5 p.m then she'd come home and I could borrow her car. I had asked her to go with me but she didn't want to. Which was probably for the best. It would've been dumb to throw her in the vampire pit without checking it out myself first.

She had left for work before noon. I decided not to go to work with her since was still tired from the day before.

_All that shopping and fairy fiascos really wear you out_

Plus, I intended to spend hours getting ready.

But soon after Sookie left, I regretted not going because I was left with hours to just think about the millions of scenarios that could play out later that night.

_What if Bill's there?_

_What if Eric's not there?_

_What if he is, but he refuses to talk to me?_

_What if he does talk to me but thinks I'm insane and laughs in my face?_

_What if I molest Eric, just a little?_

_What if I ruin everything?_

_What if I wind up getting Sookie killed?_

_What if a random vampire decides to drain us on the way in?_

_What if I molest Eric a lot?_

_What if… What if… What if…_

On and on my mind went asking answerless questions. I came to the conclusion that it would be best if I at least _tried_ to recreate happenings from the book to the best of my ability.

_That means Eric will try to get in Sookie's pants once he meets her_

_envy…_

_At least green is a good color on me_

I had been laying in the guest bedroom, still contemplating everything when Adele called me downstairs.

When I reached the bottom step, I saw Bud Dearborn and Andy Bellefluer standing in the living room.

_This can't be good…_

"Linsey, dear, Sheriff Dearborn and Detective Bellefluer would like to speak with you" she said in an apologetic tone as she walked past me with an encouraging grandmotherly smile.

"Miss Linsey…what is your last name?" asked Bud.

"Linsey Claire, sir." I answered politely, taking a seat on the couch across from the chair Bud sat. Bellefluer remained standing, probably as an intimidation factor.

I was scared but not because Andy stayed upright.

"Miss Claire, are you aware of the murder that occurred 2 days ago?"

"Yes, sir, I heard about it through town gossip…"

Sheriff Dearborn started the interrogation "I find it very suspicious that you show up in town and the next day a woman is found murdered…"

If he was looking for a reply, I didn't give one, so he continued.

"Where were you the night of the 13th, between 12:00 and 3:00 a.m.?"

"Well, I helped at Merlottes till after midnight. Sookie and I talked with Adele around 1, then by 2, I was asleep upstairs" I answered honestly.

"Convenient, Is there anyone who can attest to that?" Andy butted in with his McGruff the Dog like voice and authority.

"Andy, we both saw her working at Merlotte's and Mrs. Stackhouse told us that they got home around 1:00-1:30. There's no way she could've made it to Maudette's between 2:00-3:00..." Sheriff Dearborn tried to reason.

Andy harrumphed "She could've taken Sookie's car…"

"Now you're saying she's a car thief, Andy?" the sheriff said exacerbated.

"I don't even know who Maudette is or where she lives…"

"Miss Claire, we appreciate your cooperation. We may have some more questions for you in future." Bud said as he stood up and walked to the front door.

Andy remained glaring at me "Don't be surprised if we show up to take you to the station…"

"Andy." Dearborn called.

With one last dirty look from Bellefleur and a farewell to Mrs. Stackhouse, the policemen left.

_Could've been worse… should've known they'd expect the new girl was the murderer. _

_I'm really off my game here._

_Speaking of…_

_AHHHHH!_

It was almost 4 o'clock! Sookie would be home soon and I would be preparing to go to Fangtasia!

My heart was racing a mile a minute since I woke up in Merlotte's parking lot!

_Fangtasia! _

_I can't imagine how many people would die to be in my position right now!_

_I'll probably have a heart attack before I reach the front door!_

I had a minor fan-girl freakout in my head then noticed Adele had begun to make dinner. I offered to help, which she, surprisingly, accepted and I was thankful for the distraction. She was a very kind woman. Not everyone would allow a stranger to stay in their home for an insurmountable time. I did what I could to help around the house, but cooking wasn't a forte of mine. I made sure to pick up and keep things tidy, especially in the room I was staying in.

I was cutting potatoes, terribly, for something Adele was making, when I sliced my index finger. Again not a cook. The cut wasn't bad enough for stitches, but it was enough to make me wince while Mrs. Stackhouse bandaged it. I was glad I didn't bleed all over the food. To be honest, I was being a bit of a baby. It only needed a band-aid, but I'm not good with injuries of any sort. At least the bruising on my ribs was less sore than the previous day and the bruises on my eye were gone. Otherwise, I'd look like a cracked out, or V'd out, fangbanger walking into the bar.

I went to start peeling potatoes again when Adele stopped me.

"It's okay, dear. That's enough potatoes, I can finish the rest" she said chuckling "I can tell cooking isn't something your comfortable with. Not much home cooking back in Ohio I'm guessing?" she asked with a smile.

"No, not really. Unless you count Ramen noodles home cookin'" I smiled back.

"Ramen noodles! That certainly does not count! I don't even let Jason eat those things" she said almost appalled.

We continued some small talk while waiting for the food to finish. I told her a little about my family and she talked about her late husband and children.

All in all it was a real heart to heart. i found it hard to imagine all that she had been through: death of her children and husband. Not to mention an affair with a fairy.

_haha, affair, fairy, **affairy**_

Which brought an idea to mind.

"Mrs. Stackhouse," I started "do you believe there are other things in the world? More than just vampires, I mean"

She looked at me as if calculating if there was more to my question than just curiosity.

"I do believe there's more out there… "

"what about Fairies?" I asked knowing full well her answer.

She sighed sadly. "Is that why you're here?"

I nodded.

"So you know about Fintan?"

I nodded again.

"I always knew they'd come for my Sookie. Are you one of them? Did they send you to take her?" she asked broken heartedly.

"No! that's not why I'm here. I didn't even know it was fairies that sent me until last night." I explained "Last night, Claudine, Sookie's fairy cousin, told me that I was brought here to protect Sookie."

"Protect her? From what? From whom?" Adele asked becoming more worried.

"From vampires that intend to take her… because of her ability."

"Can you, will you, protect her?"

"I will do my best to…" I answered honestly "but I think you should tell her the truth. About everything. She needs to know, in order to protect herself. Plus, I feel bad for lying to her."

"I know… I'm just afraid she'll hate me for what I did" she said with teary eyes.

"She could never hate you"

Sookie's car could be heard clunking up the drive. Adele wiped away the stray tears and put on a brave face, nodding at me, as if she was going into battle.

"It'll be okay, I promise. But maybe wait until I leave so you can talk alone" I said to her as Sookie walked in the back door.

_I didn't want to be around for that awkward conversation_

"Dinner smells great, gran!" Sookie said as she gave her gran a hug and a little wave to me, "I'm gunna go change, be back in a minute"

Adele and I set the table for dinner. We ate, talked about my brief interrogation and Sookie's day at work.

_O god! It's time!_

After washing my dishes, I excused myself to go get ready. I stood in my room

_My room?*_

My mind had stopped working for nearly 5 minutes, not knowing what to do next. I just stood there until I remembered that I would definitely need to be wearing clothes.

_For a little while at least. _

_No, Linsey, No touching Eric!_

With my mental "for shame" hand smack over with, I grabbed the green dress I bought. I took a quick shower, pampering myself with the top shelf k-mart hair products and smell good shower gels.

_Vanilla scented, yum_

Anti-frizz was a must, otherwise I would look like I was wearing a Bob Ross wig. Blow dry straight, and lightly curl. Make-up on. (light foundation, smokey black and teal style eyeshadow, black eyeliner and mascara, if you were wondering).

The green dress was a perfect fit, showing the girls off but tastefully. Luckily it had thicker shoulder straps so I could wear a bra. I could never not wear a bra

_in public. _

It flared out a little above my knees, so my legs were also shown. Once I put on my teal heels, I felt good, so I hoped I looked it too.

_8 o'clock!_

_Is it too earlier to go now?_

_I don't want to be a loser and be the first person there…_

_Fuck it, I'm all ready to go_

_I'll probably get lost on the way, anyway._

I did get lost on the way. Sookie had given me directions to the Toys R Us that was in the same complex before I left. Adele had given me a shawl saying I'd "freeze to death with all that skin showing." At which Sookie rolled her eyes and said I looked great.

"Do I look slutty?" I asked Sookie in a whisper when her gran went to fetch something to cover me up.

"No! Don't mind gran, she'd have me leave the house in a suit of armor everyday if she could" she laughed but turned serious "Be careful tonight, you have the house phone number, right?"

I had put it in my cell earlier so I nodded.

"Good, call if you need anything, or even Jason to come pick you up. Just be careful!"

"I will be" I reassured her.

Gran handed me the shawl, Sookie handed me her keys, and I was off to Fangtasia.

* * *

><p><strong>*the whole my room thing is kind of a play on the "<em>my eric" <em>or _"my viking"_ I read in a lot of other fan fictions. i thought it was funny.**

**again I am sorry for the delay and the shortness. stay tuned for fangtasia and eric :)**

**(o and here's my tumblr, harass me on here to update. h t t p : / / p o t s y - a n d - t h e - f o n z e r e l l i s . t u m b l r . c o m / )**

**minus the spaces**


	10. Chapter 10

**3,600 words, ya'll! It's a record for me lol**

**sad but true.**

**I was going to keep going with this chapter, but I didn't know how much longer it would take me to reach my 5,000 word goal.**

**So, it seemed like an earlier update was a good trade for 2,000 words. maybe? maybe not?**

**i don't know.**

**let me know what you think.**

**let me know if you'd rather have a 5,000 word post and wait awhile for it or a 2,000-3,000 word post for an earlier update.**

**I will try my best to achieved both. scouts honor.**

* * *

><p>I finally found the Toy R Us, and sure enough, the red glow from <em>Fangtasia<em>'s neon sign could be seen down the street.

The 45 minutes it took to get to Shreveport, plus the 20 minutes of my poor navigation, made it so I arrived at a fashionable time of 9:30. As I pulled into a parking spot, I recognized the all telling sign that Eric Northman was indeed inside; his signature red corvette. Butterflies fluttered inside my stomach.

_Really, Linsey, it's just a car._

_A really nice car. _

_Driven by an amazingly nice looking man-pire._

I was actually at _Fangtasia_.

All I had to do was go inside.

_Deep breaths, just open the car door and get out…_

_Any minute now, I'm going to get out._

_You can do this. _

"_Just put one foot in front of the other and soon you'll be walking out the door!"_

_Damn it, Linsey, not the time for show tunes!_

10 minutes had past once I was finished with my "prep" talk. Mental beratement had become a specialty of mine it seemed.

The car door squeaked as I forcefully pushed my shoulder against it. It finally gave and opened, leaving me with no more excuses to stay within the confines of the little yellow crapmobile. With one last deep, hopefully calming, breath, I walked towards Fangtasia.

_Okay, this is it._

There was a line of 20 odd people, that I hadn't noticed previously, standing in line outside the door. Well, I say people. They could be described better as creatures; desperate, edging on pathetic, creatures. And I would be one of them, I guess. That was a depressing thought.

_I'm not one of these people._

_I'm not a Fangbanger._

_I would be, if a certain fang came along_

_I'm certainly not a V addict…_

_Hell! I'm not even here for fun!_

_I was sent here on a freakin' fairy mission!_

I laughed out loud at the sheer insanity of my life causing the line to turn and stare at me. The women dressed, barely dressed, in black throughout the line glared at me as though I had just kicked their dying puppy. Apparently, _Fangtasia_ is not a laughing matter.

_No laughing, got it. _

Unable to tolerate their attention, I kept my eyes to the ground while the line got shorter and shorter. My nerves were at an all time high with each person that disappeared into the club.

I heard a throat clear "Ahem, Are you coming in or not?" an obviously irritated voice broke through my daze.

Pam, _the Pam_, stood not 2 feet in front of me. I stood still forgetting how movement works. That is until a rude man behind me pushed me forward.

_Thanks ass!_

"Uh, yeah, sorry. Wasn't paying attention…"

Pam looked at me like I was an already squashed dead gnat and stuck her hand out towards me.

I stood there clueless for a moment longer.

_Do you usually have to tip the door man?… door vampire?_

"O, I.D. right, one second."

I put my hand into the side of my bra, fishing out my I.D.

Pam gave me an amused, questioning look, raising her eyebrow.

_Like maker, like childe_

"Saves from having to carry a purse. My phone's on the other side." I said answering her silent question.

She tilted her head to the side and gave my breasts a lingering glance "Never'd be able to tell" she said, sounding rather impressed.

It's true. My breasts were large enough that they just molded themselves around the object, making said object unnoticeable.

"Go on in… want me to put your I.D. back in there?" She said as she stared pointedly at my chest.

"No, thanks" I laughed "I think I can manage."

And with a turn to the left, I was inside _Fangtasia_.

Exactly as described in the books. Black, grey, and red everywhere. It seemed cheesy, but I had never been one for clubs, so I really had nothing to compare it to.

The music was blaring. It was some strange mix between Techno and Hip Hop. The creature like people, and the people like creatures (vamps), were bouncing around like mad. I suppose it was dancing, but it looked more like a _Fangtasia_ bouncy castle.

More than likely there were more vampires here than just Eric and Pam. But I had no way of telling the difference unless one came up and bit me on the ass. Which I would rather not have happen…

_unless it was you know who_

With that thought, my head shot upward scanning the room for his "throne."

_ERIC!_

If butterflies were fluttering in my stomach from just seeing his car, they were swarming, no, dueling. in an all out war, in there now.

I just stared at him from across the room.

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

_What? What just happened?_

It took me several minutes to realize I hadn't moved from my spot near the entrance.I shook myself out of whatever trance his face had put me under.

_I am definitely going to need some liquid courage for this._

I made my way over to the bar. Longshadow sauntered over.

_Yet another problem I will have to deal with, but not tonight_

"What'll it be?" He said flashing a fangy smile.

"Uh, I'll do a Jack and coke, thanks" I said handing him the money for it. Londshadow nodded and went off to make my drink.

"Well, I don't know anyone named coke, but my name's Jack." a man wheezily laughed beside me, "How are you pretty lady?" he asked with a signature fangy vampire smile.

"I'm fine…" I laughed nervously.

"I'll say." He said as his eyes scanned my body like a creepy MRI. If all vampires were thought to be beautiful supernatural beings, someone really missed the mark on Jack. His hair was a nondescript shade of brown. His eye coloring matching that of his hair. We were eye level to each other, even though he was standing and I was sitting on a bar stool. His clothes looked as though the 80's threw up a tracksuit, and since he did look a day over 20, it was rather off putting. Well, it was off putting no matter what.

Longshadow set down my drink, and I gulped it down within 3 swallows.

"Hmmm, next one's on me" said weirdo Jack. He had ordered me a shot of something called Patron.

_A little more alcohol assisstance couldn't hurt._

"Most people call me Jack Attack" the vamp said as if I should be impressed. I wasn't, but he continued anyway "blah blah blah loved the 80's blah sleezy comment about my body blah blah brooding vampire shtick blah you know what I mean?"

I nodded and added "uh huh" "hmm" in random spots in the conversation, even though I wasn't paying him any mind.

Jack didn't cease talking or hitting on me even though I showed no real any interest in anything he had said.

Longshadow finally came back over, bearing gifts. I took the shot of Patron and thanked him for the drink. Once I felt the warmness of the alcohol spread throughout my body, I knew I was ready to talk to Eric.

"Thanks for the drink, Jack. Nice talking to ya."

_Yeah, Thanks for the courage, Oz!_

I was ready to storm the stage and say "…" Well, I didn't exactly know what to say. Luckily, there was yet another line I had to wait in. Essentially, the DMV (Donate/Mate Vampire line) of _Fangtasia_.

Men and women stood in a row giving Eric their best "come hither" stare. The woman in front of me was wearing a vibrant pink bra and a skirt that I was pretty sure used to be her halter top but it must've drifted towards. I couldn't imagine she purposely put it there. Her posture matched that of every woman in line: Shoulder blades touching behind them so their chest stuck forwards, asses pushed out, pouted lips, trying to be seductive. I couldn't think of anyone who would find that pose attractive. They resembled flamingos rather than exuded sex appeal.

_How are they all just standing around in, basically, just their panties?_

_I am certainly Judgey Judy tonight._

_Jealous much?_

I was certainly the odd one out. A little party dress was apparently a little too much fabric. My confidence level from the liquor was quickly diminishing. While waiting I had to think of what I was going to say, and fast. I tested every possible way to say "Eric."

_Maybe seductively?_

"_Errrric"_

_No, definitely not_

_Higher pitched, no_

"_My name is my name is Inigo Montoya" no_

_Valley girl, "Uh like Hi, Eric!" no_

_Cool, "Yo, Eric, what's up?" nooo_

"_How YOU doin?"_

_I may be in an alternate universe but I'm pretty sure it's not the 90's anymore…_

_Let's try something simple:_

"_Sheriff, it is such a pleasure to meet you."_

_It's a little formal, but maybe it'll let him know I mean business._

I was quickly reminded of where I was when I was shoved forwards. I was next in line!

_Omg omg omg omg omg omg_

Eric was staring at me intently. All I had to do was walk up the couple steps and I would be in front of him. It felt like I was Ralphie in A Christmas Story about to meet Santa Claus. Hopefully he wouldn't push me down the slide with his boot.

With each step my heart thundered in my chest,

_Omg omg omg omg omg omg_

and then I was within arms reach of Eric Fuckin' Northman.

"Shirrf… Sherriff, sir" I stuttered as I bowed my head. It took me a moment to realize, but I had also held out the ends of my dress at my sides and bent at the knee.

_Did…. Did I just curtsey?_

Eric sat there seemingly amused at my embarrassment.

"There's no need for theatrics. What's your name?"

"I… Linsey."

_You… Eric_

"Welcome to _Fangtasia_," He said in a overly bored tone.

The silence that followed was certainly an awkward one. I hadn't planned on anything to say past "Hi" and I hadn't even done that right! I think he was expecting me to ask him to bite me or fuck me, which is all I had overheard whilst standing in line. When I said nothing, he must've thought I was stunted mentally because he looked around as if trying to find my owner. Obviously, no one took claim of me so he just waved me off.

Something finally clicked in my head

"No, wait! I need to talk to you" I said quickly.

_This is NOT going as planned!_

He raised a perfect questioning brow.

"In private, if we could… please?"

He sat quietly for a moment, eyeing me head to toe.

"Yes, I'm hungry and I could do with a break." he said, standing up and waving the rest of line away. I heard grumbles and mutterings as I watched the group of people disperse.

"Hungry? That's not…" I started, but he had already walked away and into the hallway near the bar.

_Am I supposed to follow him?_

I stood on the stage a moment longer before I decided

_Fuck it…_

I walked down the corridor, passing many pissed off "vermin" as I remember them being called. It was kind of fitting for some of them. The first door I passed was a supply closet. That was an odd moment since I had interrupted some fun times going on in there. The female vampire hissed at me, to which I just stared wide eyed, said a quick "sorry" and awkwardly closed the door.

_Found the bathrooms… only one door left._

I should have known he would have an office at the end of a long corridor. Once past the bathrooms it was quite a walk to his door. I'm sure it was used as an intimidation tactic because with each step closer the feeling of dread increased.

_Or it was because who would want their office door near the bathrooms?_

My hand was shaking as it neared the door, I knocked, as a precaution.

_GET SOME GUSTO! SOME GRIT!_

I admonished myself.

_What is wrong with you? Just talk to him like a normal human being! _

_Don't be weird!_

"Enter!" he bellowed.

I opened the door and Eric was sitting on a black leather couch looking annoyed.

_Eric Northman. Eric Northman._

_Deep breath. Do. Not. Fangirl!_

"I don't like to be kept waiting." he said as stood, eyeing me "But you are new here so I'll give you a second chance." Eric had said as though he was doting upon me some great honor.

_That arrogant!… _

_okay, okay, any other time I would be willing to lick his shoe for a "second chance" don't try to lie to yourself, Linsey. _

If I was honest, it was becoming increasingly difficult to not fall victim to his good looks. Especially, as he began to slowly walk towards me.

_Do not pounce him. Do not pounce him!_

I backed up against the door, closing it fully by doing so. He was getting closer and I was running out of time, and self control, to stop this.

_Stay strong!_

I couldn't imagine how I looked pressed up against the door, as if trying to merge myself into it. Eric half chuckled "It's been awhile since I've had a shy one. This could be fun." He smiled _the Northman smile_. A smile that could only be on his perfect face… that was suddenly mere inches away from my own.

_Let Sookie live her own life, Bill wasn't THAT bad _said the devil on my shoulder.

_No… we can't _the angel on the opposite side tried, halfheartedly.

_I have to be the voice of reason here! ?_

I put my hands up against his shoulders

_His muscular shoulders_

And pushed him back, dying a little on the inside for doing so.

"Mr. Northman, I'm not here to be a late night snack." I said apologetically "I think there was a misunderstanding, when I asked to 'speak to you in private'… I actually meant 'speak'"

He was nonchalant "Well, then you may go."

I almost followed his command.

"No." I surprised myself in saying rather firmly "I really do need to talk with you."

"Then make an appointment." Eric said as he took a seat behind his desk.

"It's important!" I was really becoming aggravated.

Things were not playing out as I had envisioned and as stupefying-ly attractive as he was, I had a job to do. Lives could very well depend on me.

"O. well, it it's important" he mocked me "make an appointment." he finished, making a shooing gesture.

_Did he just shoo me? !_

I walked over to a chair in front of his desk and sat. I may have childishly stomped, a little.

"Mr. Northman, what I have to say concerns both of us." I stated firmly again.

His head raised at that and he let out an annoyed sigh "Fine, you have 5 minutes."

"I have come here to ask for your help."

He gave me a look that said I needed to explain more, and time was running out.

"Protection. For a friend."

"Protection? In exchange for what?"

_Panties combust in: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1_

_And there's the smoldering suggestive look._

_If he wouldn't have been such an ass…_

"I'm afraid that would be over selling your protection" I joked.

He smirked, _the Northman smirk._

I was still in awe of being in the same room, _the same universe, _as Eric Northman. But the realization of what I was here to do, in effect to save lives, sobered me up quickly. And luckily, made me less of a bumbling idiot.

"So what _are _you offering?" he asked.

"Information." I stated simply. "I know things… about your business… and what not"

"What kinds of things?" Eric was becoming rather angry. I don't know if he thought I was trying to blackmail him. Hindsight, I could've worked the conversation a little better.

"Well, I… I can't tell you, now. You have to agree to help my friend…?" I was quickly losing the façade that I knew how to do business with a vampire.

"Tell me!" he demanded in a growl, which in any other circumstances would have made me naked in 5 seconds flat. But, it was frightening. If anything, I wanted to put more clothes on just so there'd be more separating us.

"Mr. Northman, I…" my words were cut off when I was forcefully pushed onto the floor, a cold hand around my throat. Sucking in air after it had been knocked out was a difficult task on it's own, but add windpipe being blocked as well, damn near impossible.

"You. Will. Tell. Me. What. You. know" he demanded coldly, staring into my eyes.

I felt that compulsion I felt when Bill had told him to invite him into the Stackhouse home. But, instead of being stronger, like I had imagined it would've been with a vampire 7x his age, it was weaker. Almost like my body was becoming immune to some strain of virus.

_Like chickenpox_ I concluded.

"Mr. Northman, I'm. trying. to. help. you." I gasped out between breaths.

He looked stunned for a moment. Of course, he would be. No one had resisted his glamour before, since he hadn't met Sookie yet.

His stunned silence was replaced by a growl and a tighter grip around my throat. My breathing became even shallower, which was quite a feat. With the lack of oxygen, my brain decided it was close to nap time. Possibly, dirt nap time.

_At least I'll die with a good view. _

_It'd be better if he wasn't snarling, though…._

"Northman! Let the girl go!" A talking fuzzy blur said behind the homicidal blur on top of me.

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><p><strong>THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REVIEWS, PM'S, FAVORITES, AND ALERTS! YOU GUYS ARE GREAT AND SO ENCOURAGING! <strong>

**I'll try to be not so shitty about taking forever to post.**

**Since I am also an avid fanfic reader, I know how much it sucks to not have regular updates. **

**I wish I could just brain vomit on my laptop and the story would be finished so you wouldn't have to wait anymore. **

**but sadly, no can do.**

**review if you have the time :)**

**until next time, my lovlies.**

**(p.s. minus the spaces**

** w w w . p o t s y - a n d - t h e - f o n z e r e l l i s . t u m b l r . c o m**

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	11. Chapter 12

**AN ACTUAL CHAPTER! ONLY HOURS AFTER I PROMISED ONE!**

**YAY!**

**I hope it's good lol, I am SO tired right now!**

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><p>*** Really Chapter 11 ***<p>

As quickly as Eric had tackled me, he was just as fast to release my throat to assess the new comer in the room. My vision was hazy, at best, and the air trying to reach my lungs burned my bruised throat. Still laying on the ground, Eric and the other man seemed to be arguing, but I had to wait for the ringing in my ears to subside before I understood anything they were saying. It took a minute for my body to return to normal working order and I decided my best option would be to remain on the floor to avoid any attention being drawn to me whilst their heated discussion continued. The main thing I heard was Eric's growling. He was not a happy vampire.

_Should've just slept with him… _

_I could be having sex with Eric Northman right now…_

_I am the biggest idiot, ever._

Suddenly, they both turned and stared down at me. They both seemed like giants from were I was positioned. The man was almost as tall as Eric, slim, with long pale gold hair. He stretched his arm down, offering me his hand. I took it after hesitating for a moment.

"Thanks" I said looking up to the man.

"It is a pleasure to meet you." he said in a kind, soothing voice "I am Niall Brigant"

"O, duh! I should've known!" I shook his hand that was still in mine. I smiled until I remembered he was responsible for me being here "Your why I'm here" I said with a grimace.

"Yes, we should talk." an apologetic look in his eye.

He kindly grabbed the chair I had been sitting in earlier, turned it upright and motioned for me to take a seat. Eric and Niall chose to stand, making me have to look up at the mountain sized men.

Eric was first to speak, with a strict tone "Now, tell me why you have graced me with your presence."

"As you know, there is a war in Faery. My son, Fintan, was killed by one of my enemies." Niall's face was all business, but his voice gave away a deeper hurt "His death brought about new information. Information I wished to keep concealed, but it seems that now it can not be so."

I felt as though that was strike towards me, that I had failed some test. I refused to take the blame though. Sure, I should've been a little more smooth with my proposition with Eric, but honestly, I knew I was in way over my head from the get go. _HE_ made the mistake in choosing me.

"I have a great granddaughter living in your domain. I fear that she is in danger, both with my kind and yours."

"And you wish for my protection" Eric said passively, "What do I get in return?"

"Information, as the girl said."

Again, they both turned to me. I shifted uncomfortably with the sudden acknowledgment. They had completely forgotten I was there, now all attention was on me.

"Um, yeah, information…" I agreed, not knowing what they wanted me to say.

"She knows a great deal about the future, which she will tell you when the time is right, so long as you protect my great granddaughter."

Eric leaned back against his desk, seemingly thinking over the situation.

I broke the silence "If I can make a quick addition to this deal, I would like a bit of protection too." I stated, suddenly remembering all the shit that is going to go down in the future.

"Well, of course. You are Eric's payment, you have all of the knowledge." Niall said as if I should have known.

_Yeah, how stupid of me. *insert sarcasm*_

_I'm Eric's payment. Disliking this more and more…_

"No." Eric interjected. "I don't know how reliable this girl's information is, and if I am protecting 2 people against fae and vampires… It's not enough." he said finally.

Niall glared at Eric. Minutes passed as Niall's anger seemed to only spike with every passing moment, and Eric played out his indifference well.

"If I may make another quick suggestion…" I piped up as they continued their stare down "Niall, Sookie could be of some use…"

Niall's head snapped towards me, drilling holes in my head with his eyes.

"I mean, it's a reasonable offer, not to mention, he's going to find out sooner or later. She's already on the vamp-radar." I said rationally, "Plus, I know he's trustworthy… eventually."

He was visibly tense but he must of seen some sense in my idea. He nodded.

"Mr. Northman, how would you like to have your own personal fortune teller and a bonefide telepath, in exchange for your protection? And a promise that you'll try not to kill us both for being insufferable sometimes?" I smiled hopefully.

"A telepath" Eric whispered to himself, sounding intrigued. A few minutes later he came to a decision, "I will agree after a test of both claims." nodding, with a small smirk playing at his lips.

Niall was pacified and agreed that that would be well enough. He told me to make the arrangements for a meeting with Sookie. "And Linsey, I do apologize for abruptly putting you in this situation. We will speak more at a later time" glancing towards Eric. "I will take my leave now." And with a *pop*, he was gone.

Eric and I were alone. He was still leaning against his desk, I only then noticed his crotch was a foot away from my face.

_This isn't awkward at all._

My eyes traveled up to see him looking expectantly at me.

Confused, I asked "What?"

"Time to prove your worth."

"Do you always attack people that say they are trying to help you? Remember that whole 'Tell me now!' hands at my throat moment?" I questioned indignantly, ignoring what he said.

It had been annoying me for quite some time. I clearly said our deal was for his benefit, yet he threw me to the ground and made me seem incompetent to Niall.

"And now, you will tell me. Plus, I have gained a fairy telepath as well. It all worked out in the end" He said smugly, taking a seat behind his desk.

_Damn his stupid face! If he wasn't so damn pretty, I'd be really mad…_

"Fine," I huffed. "Just don't start choking me, this isn't news you're going to like."

His face turned serious and he nodded for me to continue.

Taking a deep breath I started "Someone has been embezzling money from the bar. About $60,000, if I remember right."

Eric's angry growling stopped me "Who?" he asked, trying to remain in control.

"Longshadow." I said with no hesitation and keeping eye contact.

In a second, Pam had joined us in the office. Eric looked like he was seething.

"Why does it not smell of sex in here? If you weren't going to take advantage of this pretty young thing, you should have passed her along to me" She leered at me, completely ignoring Eric's foul mood.

"Pam, close the door!" She did as told "I have been informed that a significant amount of money has been stolen. Keep an eye on Longshadow. Make sure he does not leave." He demanded. Pam growled as well then quickly left, following her maker's orders.

Eric grabbed his phone "Bruce. Do you have something to tell me?" he angrily questioned.

More growling.

_Even his angry killer face is sexy, and the growling. Unff! _

_Not the time…_

"And you failed to mention this, why?"

"Stop sniveling! I need to gain access to Longshadow's account. Get me proof that he is responsible! And maybe then I won't tear out your heart!" He yelled, ending the call.

I sat there silently, letting him take some time to regain his composure. All the while I studied his face. With his eyes closed, it was the perfect opportunity to do so. He really was handsome, even when practically foaming at the month from anger. The sculpt of his face to the way his hair was slicked back; a perfect manly specimen. And his clothes! Even his clothes were hot!

_This world is not fair…_

His eyes met mine, he was back in business mode, "You were correct about the missing money. However, without proof of who's responsible, I cannot trust your claim."

"It's him." I said steadfastly, "Talk to Belinda and Ginger, but she's been glamoured so many times, I'm surprised she can think at all."

"I will question them myself… perhaps, this could be a test for the telepath" he said thoughtfully

"Sookie, Sookie Stackhouse is her name" I thought I should inform him. "And if you do that, make sure Longshadow isn't around because he'll try to kill her, and with Bill not being there. Actually! That's another thing!"

He stared at me oddly, waiting for me to continue.

"Bill Compton is in your area, he hasn't checked in with you, right?" Eric shook his head no, looking very displeased. "Yeah, well, here's another ball of worms for you. He was sent here by Queen Sophie Anne to 'procure' Sookie. She knows she's a telepath. Not about the fairy thing, though. Only you and I know about that… well, besides Niall and her gran, and now Sookie too, I suppose." I continued to ramble "She went under your nose, which pisses you off, but there's nothing you can really do about unless you stick a vampire flagpole in her declaring her as yours. But even then, she's going to be able to use Sookie whenever she wants, ya know?… I may have surpassed all that, though" I added thoughtfully "Bill should be reporting back to the queen that Sookie isn't a telepath, but is just all 'round coocoo…So, I guess just ignore most of what I just said…"

I realized I had pretty much summarized a good part of the first book plot to Eric Northman and almost laughed at the thought.

He nodded, and sat there silently for a moment. I assumed he was thinking everything over, coming up with every scenario and survival plans for all of them.

"You are rather strange." Surprisingly, was his only response to all that I just said.

To which I could just smile and shrug my shoulders. He wasn't wrong.

He seemed to almost smile for a brief moment before he was Sheriff Eric again "I will take care of Bill since has been residing here without seeing me. I expect for you and Sookie to be here tomorrow night, then I will determine if our arrangements are agreeable."

It was pretty obvious that I was being dismissed.

"We'll be here. Have a goodnight, Eric. It was really nice to meet you!" I smiled and started to inwardly fan girl once again. "except for the part where you almost killed me."

He laughed a little, even though I didn't intend for it to be a joke, and smirked "Actually, you could stay for a little while longer. I am in the mood for a fortune cookie. You smell quite sweet…" He inhaled, raising in eyebrow "Strange, even."

"Well, as much as I like to be called strange more than once in a matter of minutes, I think I'll be declining your offer." I cut in abruptly. "Bye, Eric" I nodded and left him snickering to himself.

_You just turned down Eric Fuckin' Northman, twice in one night. _

"I'm an idiot" I mumbled as I walked out of the back exit of _Fangtasia._

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><p><strong>quite a few of you guessed it was Niall lol. Not that much of a surprise, and no cliffy's this time.<strong>

**Hope the chapter was ok. I am seriously fighting to keep my eyes open right now. The sun is coming up too lol.**

**If any of it was incoherent please let me know haha my brain function is depleting at the moment. R&R please.**

**(I need to figure out where this story is going so feel free to make suggestions)**


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